Classes Mara Teaches
Community and JEDI
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So often people claim allyship with a marginalized community as a way of gaining social capital without doing the work to educate themselves, the work to actually listen to what the community might need, or being afraid to speak up or out when they see things happen.
This class will teach practical methods for intervening, and interrupting, tools on how to assess situations, and how to move from being a self-proclaimed ally to a person who can consistently show up and do the hard work of becoming an accomplice.
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Each and every one of us knows of at least one person who should not be in our community, and yet they are still here. Far too many of us know of events that have people with problematic histories as part of their event staff, vendors, or presenters.
How can we move beyond a broken stair mindset to holding ourselves and each other accountable in working towards resolving these incidents?
Are we willing to engage in restorative justice practices?
Publicly calling out incidents and events as they occur?
Let's work on an evolution revolution to craft the community we want!
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This class isn’t about what the Old Guard Leather was or to create debate on its history or creation.
Instead, we will examine how the impact of these norms have influenced the Leather subculture’s past, present, and future.
Are these ideas just relics of a bygone era? Are there lessons we can still learn? How do we judge and uphold the cultural norms of 30+ years ago through the lens of a very different worldview.
This class invites introspection and questioning what we as a subculture mean when we say something is Old Guard.
Gender Identity, Expression and Mental Health Classes
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Things to consider for those of us still figuring things out well past 40.
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Whether you use PRICK or RACK your history is going to impact how you live and plan. This class looks into the knarly historic things we’ve experienced as we develop our risk profiles.
Authority Transfer Relationships
Authority Transfer 101 Series
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Trauma history? Check.
Service Heart? Check.
Huge struggle setting healthy boundaries in power exchange/authority transfer (PE/AT) relationships? Double check!
Setting boundaries and saying no is one of the biggest challenges an S-type can face. Add to that trauma triggers that have us default to fawning, freezing, or fighting, and you can have a perfect storm resulting in unhealthy PE/AT relationships.
Learning to say no to a prospective play offer, saying no to the community demanding too much of your time, and the ever-dreaded- saying no to your D-type can be an invaluable skill.
This class focuses on establishing a foundational bill of rights, recognizing when we watch our lines in the sand get washed away, how to recover and finally how to say no as a complete sentence.
Especially when there is a power imbalance in your relationship.
I will offer up some tricks on how to use posture, protocol, and Voice to get our will across in a polite manner. (There will also be tips on when and how to not be so polite!)
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Contracts are one of the most valuable and sadly most underutilized tools to help s-types protect themselves and ensure that both partners get what they want out of the relationship.
This class will give examples of talking points and negotiation tips including a fundamental Relationship Bill of Rights to use when starting negotiations.
Then how to turn that feedback and build a contract to establish clear guidelines for ensuring your health, well-being, and happiness.
A happy s-type = Better Service!
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Consent is NOT binary. If it were we wouldn’t need “yellow” as a safeword (or in life as an actual traffic symbol).
In this class, we will engage in a nuanced discussion of consent. This will include how to negotiate for what we want and need from the right side of the slash for casual/pick-up play, and all levels of power exchange/authority transfer (PEAT) relationships.
The class will delve into how implicit, explicit, active, passive, written, and oral consent all play a part in PEAT dynamics. Too often people want to make consent a binary black-and-white issue, but the lines frequently get blurred in PEAT relationships.
We will be discussing how issues can arise, how to hopefully avoid some of them, and how to handle situations when someone feels like their consent has been violated.
Lastly, we will also talk about how we can support one another in maintaining boundaries and demanding a basic level of respect from our communities.
Authority Transfer 201 Series
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Many people in the community have gravitated to the less judgment-based motto RACK (Risk Aware Consensual Kink) vs SSC (Safe Sane Consensual).
From traditional edge play, CNC dynamics, and even rope suspensions, we understand that nothing we do is inherently safe.
So how can we effectively negotiate and develop a personal risk profile to allow us to engage in these activities?
In this class, we will explore how to understand and mitigate risk, how to negotiate consent for activities where a black/white consent model doesn't work, and how to build a R.I.S.C profile to help navigate the exhilarating, dangerous, and oh-so rewarding, edgier types of play. -
We all like to think that our service is impeccable. We all strive for perfection - whether it is laying out a perfect dinner for 20 or simply trying to get the laundry done.
Sometimes, life throws a monkey wrench into our plans.
What do you do when service doesn’t go as planned?
How can we develop safeguards and coping skills to help us get through perceived service failures?
How can we communicate with our D-types to manage expectations?
How do we determine what we is fair to be punished or reprimanded for and what is beyond our control?
We can learn to stop blaming ourselves and learn how to correct, adapt, and move on leading to healthier behaviors and hopefully less anxiety and stress!
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Roughly 20% of the US Population struggles with mental illness every year (4% with serious conditions) and 45% of folxs deal with chronic health conditions.
And then we add in all of our neuro-spiciness and it can feel like we are too “broken” or too burdensome” to serve someone.
For many of us in the lifestyle, juggling a host of bad brain and body days is a day-to-day reality.
How can we map our triggers, traumas, and physical limitations to set us up for the best chances for a successful power exchange/authority transfer (PEAT) relationship?
What tools can we use to communicate with our partners how and what we need in terms of expectation management?
What accommodations do we have a right to so we can stay healthy?
What do we need for support on our less-than-great days?
Living with illness can pose unique challenges, but it doesn’t have to prohibit or limit us from amazing and fulfilling authority transfer relationships.
Some tips and tricks and a lot of self-honesty go a very long way to making almost any dynamic work!
Content Warning: Open and frank discussion of violence and sexual trauma.
Authority Transfer 301 Series
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CNC is one of the most misunderstood and fantasized about dynamic structures which offers the complete surrender of one’s primary self to the control of another.
But what are the realities of doing so ethically?
For the S-types are you ready to give up your ability to have children? Be permanently and visibly marked?
For the D-types are you willing to financially support someone long-term, or provide them with living space?
The negotiations and growth into this type of dynamic take time, and a tremendous amount of conversation and consideration.
CNC without ethical considerations and a profound sense of caring for your property is bordering on abuse.
We will discuss practical and esoteric issues that tend to get overlooked.
This type of dynamic isn’t for everyone, but if you are considering one or are in one we hope to offer positive examples (and dire warnings) gleaned from over 30 years in the lifestyle.
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I believe that being a slave is a matter of soul more than it is about wearing someone’s collar.
Over my 30 years in service, I constantly ponder what being a slave means and how it affects our way of interacting with not just people who identify on the left side of the slash but the world at large.
For those of us for whom slavehood might be our primary identity, how can we express ourselves outside of a dynamic? How can we gain a greater understanding of how “slave brain” affects our day-to-day lives? What tools can we employ to continue our journeys and personal growth as slaves without Masters? How can we find healthy ways to get service fixes that feed our soul without being taken advantage of? And how to set healthy boundaries for ourselves?
The path of the ronin is a solitary one, but it doesn’t have to be lonely or unfulfilling.
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We all like to think that our dynamics have a sense of permanence.
It makes it easier to make ourselves open and vulnerable if we think that our service and sacrifices have some long-term payoffs.
The deeper into authority transfer you go the more S-types are expected to relinquish in our dynamics.
All good things must come to an end. Even if it is till death do you part.
Eventually, ALL of our dynamics will end, and far too often the S-type is left in less-than-ideal circumstances to pick up and continue with their lives.
How can we protect ourselves against the inevitable?
Are there certain obligations that people on the left side of the slash have to ensure that their partners are able to continue without them? How much responsibility do they take for all of the authority they have claimed?
We will explore various options, from emotional safeguards, to financial considerations to legal documents both parties can use to ensure that when the relationship ends, we can all move forward in a healthy manner.
BDSM Skills
BDSM Skills 101 Series
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This class will introduce and explore beginning needle play from the bottom’s prospective.
Learn how to find a qualified needle top, how and what to ask for in needle play, creating a personal risk profile, and safety precautions. We’ll also talk about tips and tricks to get you over the fear and into the fun!
Content Warning: blood
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Most D-types expect us to be mind-readers.
And most of us can become pretty good at it over the course of a relationship.
This class will provide tips and tricks on how to use all 5 senses to make anticipatory service look like magic even outside of an established authority transfer relationship.
Amaze your friends by being able to pick up on the subtlest cues to help anticipate their wants.
We will also delve into behavior reading and pattern recognition to help hone these skills and touch on how a "butler" book can help keep track of it all.
BDSM Skills 201 Series
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This class will serve as an introduction to Basic Breath Play.
We will cover safety and health considerations, the whys of engaging in breath play, and types of breath play. This class will include demonstrations of 3 variations of basic breath play types.
Content Warning: you will see people go unconscious in this class.
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Bottoming is a skill just like any other.
As such it can be honed and improved upon as part of our journey in BDSM.
There is also a very common misconception that Better bottoming = being able to take more pain.
This class will cover advanced negotiating techniques, learning your body and how to put it to good use during a scene, techniques for staying present in the moment, and physicality issues. We will also touch on pain management skills.
BDSM Skills 301 Series
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We all know the old adage that the pointy end goes in the bottom, which can generate tons of fun and ouch; but what else can you do with them?
We will delve into how to take your needle play to the next level (size, quantity, placement, predicament), and how to get into decorative cutting.
This class will also cover negotiating for advanced ouch and real-world considerations for living with the marks and scars.
Content Warning: blood.
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The sobs between hits that take your breath away.
The collapse of an inconsolable puddle of goo on the dungeon floor.
Perhaps you stand stoically, tears beyond your control streaming silently down your face.
Maybe it isn’t an implement at all but a meticulously chosen word and look that slices into your ego.
Whatever form your masochism takes, how can we turn our suffering into a service?
How do you negotiate for this type of scene?
What are the darker pitfalls of offering up your suffering to one who might truly enjoy it?
Are there long-term implications we need to be mindful of with heavy S&M play as a service?
Content warning: descriptions of violence
Hands-On Service Stations
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Creating a place to collet, store, and find the information you need to keep up with things.
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What to do with your hands, arms, and elbows to cultivate your physical connection.
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Expanding your beverage service options.
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Tools to deploy while negotiating from the right side.
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Care and feeding requirements for happy ropes.
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Figuring out what you need when the play is over.