What a Difference Two Years Makes

Almost exactly two years ago, I was trapped in an airport after three of the worst weeks. I had made many promises to people I loved, and was trying to live long enough to see my next sunrise and make it home. I put one song on repeat and pulled up a phone number as my last call goodbye, curled into a ball, and waited the longest six hours of my life.

The song that I had chosen was the same one that played to welcome the International Person of Leather title to the SouthEast LeatherFest family. I had already cried during rehearsal so at least I knew it was coming, and was smart enough to not wear eye makeup Saturday night for the contest.

I stood at the back of the ballroom with my new cover jauntily perched on my head thanks to a big sister with a wicked sense of humor, tears already streaming down my cheeks. My hands holding the candle shook as I placed one foot in front of the other and proudly walked onto the stage. When the previous IPOL title holders bowed their heads as we passed I cried. Real honest to gods tears that would make my therapist proud lol. I had already won, because I made it through that night two years ago, and every night since then. Being chosen to be the International Person of Leather that night became a reality I could never have imagined that night on the floor of the Love Field airport.

I heard the song on the radio today and I felt at peace. It's been a very exhausting, and difficult few weeks, but today I got to revel in a perfect spring day.

I've done so much work on my self, and how I choose to show up in the world. For those who who knew me from the before times, I hope you can love the person I am today as much as you loved me before. For those who are new to my life, thank you for being part of this next chapter.

I don't know if I'll be able to "rise a thousand times again" but I'm ever so grateful that I had at least one more in me that night two years ago.